Personal Narrative Outline

Place- The place I chose to write about is my dads friend Steve's family property, where I went camping once a month. It is 1000 acres of an old lime rock mining area. It is located in Okahumpka, Florida right across from the current Dixie Lime and Stone Co. Because of the hundreds of years mining there are many lakes, where we would go cliff jumping and swimming. There are many trails, a dirt bike track, a mudding hole, a rope swing and lots of free open land to shoot, hunt or explore. I am choosing to write about this particular place because I spent many weekends of my life from ages five to sixteen here. I had two life or death experiences but also many wonderful memories there.

 

1. This experience takes place on one of the lakes within the property. I was in 7th grade and thirteen years old. I was down by the shore working on a float a few of the kids had built. It was a wooden pallet stuffed with styrofoam so we could float down the lake to explore. I was with three of my friends Maggie, Brooke and Lizzy. We had all been friends for years. As I was helping build the float and needed to get a pocket knife to help cut off a branch we were using as the paddle. I walked back to the campground to borrow a pocket knife from my friend Caden. I came back to the float and cut off the branch that was sticking off the paddle. I then began to head back to camp once again, to give the knife back to Caden. However to get back to camp you have to hike up a steep and muddy hill. As I was walking up I was laughing with my friends, when all of a sudden my foot slipped and I fell flat with the knife in my hand. However when I got up the knife was missing, it was lodged in my neck, right in between my collarbone. I automatically got scared and pulled it out (which is the worse thing I could have done). I began to bleed everywhere, within seconds it was squirting all over me. My friend Maggie started screaming and crying. I gave Lizzy my phone to call my dad, but because we were so far in the woods there was no service. Lizzy and Brooke were frantic and began to run ahead yelling for any adults to hear them. The walk back to camp was uphill and at least a ten minute walk, because I was in so much pain I had to take my time. However, I walked all the way back to camp and never shed a tear. I had lost so much blood I began to become delirious. The closest hospital was over an hour away, and I had lost so much blood I had no other option but to stay there. My dads friend Bailey (who was a vet) gave me stitches in a camp chair while my dad held a flashlight above me. As I was getting stitches I passed out and began to throw up but I never once cried. I believe this experience changed my perspective on life and how easily it can be taken away. It made me stronger as a person.

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2. This experience takes place on the rope swing. I was in 6th grade and was eleven years old. The rope swing wasn't just any other rope swing. This rope swing was at least 20 feet of the ground. To go on you had to climb up to a platform, put your legs in between the rope, hold on tight and jump. Because all of these lakes were man made because of the years of lime rock mining, all the sides were super steep, so the only way in them was to jump or swing. For years I was one of the only girls that went camping. I was always expected to be just as tough and brave as the older boys. The rope swing however always scared me. I would always get to the top of the platform put the rope in between my legs then chicken out and crawl down. One day my friends Joe, Regan, Steele and I  went to the rope swing. Joe swung in first then Regan. Steele was about to go next when Joe yells, "Calli get in the water", Regan and him both started chanting my name then Steele joined in as well. I finally gave in, held on to the rope with a tight grip and jumped. I went so high, It was amazing. As soon as I landed everyone cheered and I came out of the water yelling "who wants to go again?" I had finally overcome one of my biggest fears of heights and had one of the best days of my life. I was so care free and finally overcame something huge.

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3. This experience takes place in the woods a few yards from the campground. There was only a few girls that went camping since it was only the dads that brought the kids. The dads had built a fort for all the kids in the beginning of my 5th grade year but because the boys outnumbered the girls, they took over the fort and refused to let any girls inside. Now at this time I was much of a tom boy so I was not going to let any boys tell me what to do. I decided to build my own fort. Eva and Lizzy were with me. We all spent the day gathering wood, rope and any other treasures that we could find to put into our fort. We chose a spot on top of a hill that had two big tree branches. Eva brought back a huge rope so we decided to build a swing at our fort. We wrapped the rope around the tree and tied a huge knot at the bottom. We spent the entire weekend playing on that swing and making our fort better and better. Finally on Sunday the boys started to notice our creation and decided to wander over. After a few minutes of pleading we finally let the boys come into our fort and use our rope swing. Soon after they let us play in there fort as well and all was at peace again.

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Things to Consider

1. I believe right now in my personal narrative outline there are not enough details about the property I use to camp on. However, I plan to add much more detail about each particular site within the camp ground. I plan to describe the cliffs, where I use to go cliff jumping. I plan to also go into great detail about the lake where I use to swim and the steep area boarding the lake, which made it so hard to climb up.

2. I establish myself as credible by telling the exact time, place and moments as best as I can recall them. Because these are personal experiences I am credible

3. I plan to move the discussion of a place into a new and unique area by going into great detail of all the things that affected that very moment. My personal narrative is about a large property where I used to go camping, with so much property my experiences take place in all different places such as the lake, the cliffs and the mud hole. These are three very different spots that have a very different environment and are very easily distinguished from one another.

4. I believe you need to know what kind of audience you are writing to always. I plan to write this to the intended audience of students and young adults. My personal narrative will be a very casual read, because I was a child when most of my experiences here took place.

5. I assume my readers are very kind and caring. I believe they will appeal to pathos so there for I will incorporate lots of emotion and detail so they can feel as if they are involved in my narrative.

Character Development

Character- Calli

Full Name: Calli Grimes

Gender: Female

Age and Date of Birth (as your story does not need to have a contemporary

setting): Ages 8-14, March 12,1999

Birth City: Leesburg FL

Parent’s Names: Julia and Michael Grimes

Siblings: Carter Grimes (brother)

Ethnicity: White

Pets: Cat named Frisky

Education: Public middle/ high school during the story

Favorite Movie: 21 Jump Street

Favorite TV Show: Friends

Favorite Book: Death by Bikini

Favorite Food: Asian noodles

Favorite Day of the Week: Friday

Favorite Hobby: Cheerleading

Favorite Drink: Sweet teas

Favorite Band: Black eyed peas

Favorite Song: Boom Boom Pow

Favorite Halloween Costume (if s/he celebrated Halloween): Hippie

Religious affiliation: Christian

Political affiliation: Republican

Love interest(s): Single

Physical Description: medium height and average size

Eye Color:hazel

Hair Color and Style:brunette and straight

Height:5’4

Weight:average

Skin Tone: tan

Facial Description (does s/he have a unique nose, forehead, eyes, ears, lips,

ect.?): Has a freckle right about her lip

Clothes (what s/he is wearing or usually wears): Jeans and t-shirts

Other Physical Characteristics (booty, busty, muscular, corpulent, scrawny,

disproportioned, ect.): average size. This story takes place during the time she was going through puberty so it often changes.

Defining Moments

The one childhood instance—good or bad—that indelibly affects who this

character is now: When I got stiches from a knife wound

The character’s proudest moment: Overcoming my fear of heights

The character’s most embarrassing moment: falling on a pocket knife

The character’s career goals of future aspirations/ambitions: Wants to be a doctor (at the time)

Whom the character would most like to have dinner with (past or present)

and why: Zac Efron because he was my favorite actor at the time

Three adjectives the character would use to describe him/herself:

Kind, Funny and outgoing

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Personal Narrative Draft 1

"Ha ha, so when we get back to camp, we should all go back to my tent to get s’mores, the dads aren’t cooking dinner for a few more hours and I’m starving” said Maggie. “Yeah Maggie, that sounds great, just let me finish getting rid of this branch on our raft and we can leave” I said.

I was a very determined child, always wanting to be able to do something and always wanted to be seen as tough. When we first began camping I was the only girl surrounded by nine other boys. It was like that for quite some time so you can imagine I learned how to hang out with the boys, and became a little bit tomboy myself. One of my biggest things growing up is I never wanted anyone to see my cry, no matter how sad I was or how much physical pain I was enduring I would never left myself shed a tear, I never wanted to appear as weak. I finished cutting down the branch from our homemade raft and Maggie and I began our climb up the muddy hill. I had my favorite pink Hollister shirt on with ripped dark wash jeans and of course my neon green crocs. The raft Maggie, Brooke and I had been working on was simply just an old pallet we found in the woods, it had much growth on it, such as weeds, roots intertwined within the pallet openings and a little branch that had grown up the side. We got rid of most of the growth and stuffed the pallet with Styrofoam so it could float. I was finishing up the final touches of our raft when I realized I was not strong enough to break the branch alone. I sprinted back to the campground and asked my friends Caden to borrow his neon orange pocket knife. He agreed but made me promise to bring the knife right back. I then ran to the lake where the raft was to finish the job. I slowly sliced away at the branch until it fell, crashing into the water. The raft was perfect, and we were ready to set sail. Caden made me promise to bring the knife right back, so I did, however not in the condition the knife left with. While Maggie and I were walking up the steep muddy hill, I suddenly felt my back-foot slip, I did what any person would do, and threw my hands down to catch myself. However, I had the knife in my hand. Maggie turned around and looked at me shocked she asked, “hey you alright” then her face went blank. I didn’t quite comprehend what had happen just a few seconds ago, I looked down to pick up the knife but it was gone, I turned to the right and there it was deeply penetrated into my neck. I freaked, and yanked the knife out, blood began squirting out all over my shirt, then I felt the intense pain, as if my neck was on fire. 

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Personal Narrative Draft 2

“Ha ha, so when we get back to camp, we should all go back to my tent to get s’mores, the dads aren’t cooking dinner for a few more hours and I’m starving” said Maggie. “Yeah Maggie, that sounds great, just let me finish getting rid of this branch on our raft and we can leave” I said. I was a very determined child, always wanting to be able to do something and always wanted to be seen as tough. When we first began camping I was the only girl surrounded by nine other boys. It was like that for quite some time so you can imagine I learned how to hang out with the boys, and became a little bit tomboy myself. One of my biggest things growing up is I never wanted anyone to see my cry, no matter how sad I was or how much physical pain I was enduring I would never left myself shed a tear, I never wanted to appear as weak. I finished cutting down the branch from our homemade raft and Maggie and I began our climb up the muddy hill. I had my favorite pink Hollister shirt on with ripped dark wash jeans and of course my neon green crocs. The raft Maggie, Brooke and I had been working on was simply just an old pallet we found in the woods, it had much growth on it, weeds, roots intertwined within the pallet openings and a little branch that had grown up the side. We got rid of most of the growth and stuffed the pallet with Styrofoam so it could float. I was finishing up the final touches of our raft when I realized I was not strong enough to break the branch alone. I sprinted back to the campground and asked my friends Caden to borrow his neon orange pocket knife. He agreed but made me promise to bring the knife right back. I then ran to the lake where the raft was to finish the job. I slowly sliced away at the branch until it fell, crashing into the water. The raft was perfect, and we were ready to set sail. Caden made me promise to bring the knife right back, so I did, however not in the condition the knife left with.

While Maggie and I were walking up the steep muddy hill, I suddenly felt my back-foot slip, I did what any normal person would do, and threw my hands down to catch myself. However, I had the knife in my hand. Maggie turned around and looked at me shocked she asked, “hey you alright” then her face went blank. I didn’t quite comprehend what had happen just a few seconds ago, I looked down to pick up the knife but it was gone, I turned to the right and there it was deeply penetrated into my neck. I freaked, and yanked the knife out, blood began squirting out all over my shirt, then I felt the intense pain, as if my neck was on fire. [CG4] Funny thing was, is that I was more worried about my favorite shirt being stained than I was that there was a puncture wound in my neck. Maggie was three years younger than I was, at the time she was only ten. I gave her my hot pink rumor touch and told her to call my dad. Of course, my dad being my dad, didn’t answer his phone. Maggie called him numerous times but no answer. Back to the campsite where everyone slept was less than a mile walk back, but all up hill. We hiked the entire way back, step by step. Finally, we reached the campsite, as soon as I walked in everyone’s jaws dropped, my dad came sprinting he then grabbed me and threw me into the closet chair. I took off my shirt and sat in the chair in my white sports bra, which now looked white and red tie-dye. My dad ran over to get his friend Bailey who was a licensed veterinarian. Bailey took a second look at it and says “mikes she needs stiches”, I absolutely was about to lose it when I heard that. I got hurt a lot but nothing to that extent, I had never had stiches before and it was too late to go to a hospital. With my dad holding a flashlight about my neck, Bailey began to work, two shots into the wound, then in and out with the needle. All the kids at camp were surrounding me, while I sat there screaming in pain, but I never cried. The knife had missed my carotid artery by less than an inch, I was so lucky to be alive. At the time it was the scariest moment of my life, I look back on it now and laugh but that exact moment changed a lot for me, it changed the way I lived my life.

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Final Draft

The Sumterville Property

“Ha ha, so when we get back to camp, we should all go back to my tent to get s’mores, the dads aren’t cooking dinner for a few more hours and I’m starving” said Maggie.

“Yeah Maggie, that sounds great, just let me finish getting rid of this branch on our raft and we can leave” I said. I was a very determined child, always wanting to be able to do something and always wanted to be seen as tough. When we first began camping I was the only girl surrounded by nine other boys. It was like that for quite some time so you can imagine I learned how to hang out with the boys, and became a little bit tomboy myself. One of my biggest things growing up is I never wanted anyone to see my cry, no matter how sad I was or how much physical pain I was enduring I would never left myself shed a tear, I never wanted to appear as weak. I finished cutting down the branch from our homemade raft and Maggie and I began our climb up the muddy hill. I had my favorite pink Hollister shirt on with ripped dark wash jeans and of course my neon green Crocs. The raft Maggie, Brooke and I had been working on was simply just an old pallet we found in the woods, it had much growth on it, weeds, roots intertwined within the pallet openings, and a little branch that had grown up the side. We got rid of most of the growth and stuffed the pallet with Styrofoam so it could float. I was finishing up the final touches of our raft when I realized I was not strong enough to break the branch alone. I sprinted back to the campground and asked my friends Caden to borrow his neon orange pocket knife. He agreed, but made me promise to bring the knife right back. I then ran to the lake where the raft was to finish the job. I slowly sliced away at the branch until it crashed into the water. The raft was perfect, and we were ready to set sail. Caden made me promise to quickly bring the knife back, so I did, however not in the condition I took the knife in.

While Maggie and I were walking up the steep muddy hill, I suddenly felt my back-foot slip, I did what any normal person would do, and threw my hands down to catch[CG1] [CG2] [CG3]  myself. However, I still had the knife in my hand.

Maggie turned around and looked at me shocked she asked, “hey you alright” then her face went white. I didn’t quite comprehend what had happen just a few seconds ago, I looked down to pick up the knife, but it was gone.  I turned to the right and there it was deeply penetrated into my neck. I panicked, and yanked the knife out, blood began squirting out all over my shirt, then I felt the intense pain, as if my neck was on fire. [CG4] Funny thing was, I was more worried about my favorite shirt being stained than I was that there was a puncture wound in my neck. Maggie was three years younger than I was, at the time she was only ten. I gave her my hot pink rumor touch and told her to call my dad. Of course, my dad being my dad, didn’t answer his phone. Maggie called him numerous times but no answer. Back to the campsite where everyone stayed was less than a mile walk back, but it was a continuous uphill path. We hiked the entire way back, step by step. Finally, we reached the campsite, as soon as I walked in everyone’s jaws dropped, my dad came sprinting out, then he grabbed me and threw me into the closest chair. I took off my shirt and sat in the chair in my white sports bra, which now looked white and red tie-dye. My dad ran over to get his friend Bailey who was a licensed veterinarian.

Bailey took a one second look at me and says “Mike she needs stitches”, I was about to absolutely lose it when I heard that. I got hurt a lot but nothing to that extent, I had never had stitches before and it was too far to drive to a hospital. With my dad holding a flashlight above my neck, Bailey began to work, two shots into the wound, then in and out with the needle. All the kids at camp were surrounding me, while I sat there screaming in pain, but I never cried. The knife had missed my carotid artery by less than an inch, I was so lucky to be alive.

 

It was a hot Saturday morning in October. The sunshine was beating down onto my skin, giving me a shiny sort of look. We had begun our walk down the mile-long trail to the infamous rope swing that some of the boys had discovered last year. The property was over one thousand acres so it wasn’t uncommon for people to sneak on and use it. To our advantage someone had snuck on and set up a rope swing off one of the cliffs and build two different platforms to jump off of. We began our trek down the windy path until we reached the trench. To get to the cliffs you had to get a running start to make it over the other side of the trench.

“Ready, one, two, three, GO” Regan yelled and we ran up and down to the other side. Regan was my childhood best friend; we did everything together from playing Barbies’ to having mud fights, she was what people would call my partner in crime.

“Woo, we made it” Regan screamed. Seconds later, out popped Joe, Steele, and Jaret.  Jaret was up first, he was the oldest of all the boys so he kind of became the leader. He grabbed the rope, stepped up to the highest platform, let out a vicious scream and jumped. He went flying so high in the air. Then splash, Jaret flipped into the icy water.

This wasn’t just your average rope swing, the fall was over 20 feet down and I of course was absolutely terrified of heights. This wasn’t my first time going to the rope swing, I had been hundreds of times, but always would talk myself out of doing it, I would get up to the platform, then would quickly chicken out and climb back down. One by one everyone one swung into the water, first Jaret, then Steele, then Joe.

Regan nudged me “You’re up next.” I laughed and shrugged my shoulders,

“No Reg you can go, I’ll stay up here and watch” I said.

She refused to take no for an answer and started to chant “get in, get in, get in.” Then the boys joined in even louder, “get in, get in, get in.” I finally had enough, I grabbed the rope and climbed up to the tallest platform, put the rope in between my legs, then started thinking of as many excuses I could come up with to get me down.

All of a sudden Joe yelled, “Calli get in the water” I knew the chanting would never end, I gave in, I put the rope back in between my legs, gripped the rope as tight as I possibly could, and jumped. The wind blew through my hair and then I actually let out a smile. I had been missing out on this for all these years. I was having so much fun I literally almost forgot to let go.

“LET GO, CALLI, LET GO” Joe screamed. I snapped out of it and let go of the rope then cannonballed into the water.

I came up gasping for air then blurted out, “Let’s do it again”

 

“Kids, dinner is ready” shouted the dads. Regan and I leaped up and made the dash to the food tent. Trying to be first in line for dinner was like trying to run the fastest in a stampede, it simply wasn’t going to happen. Tonight, for dinner the dads made grilled chicken, mac n cheese, green beans and biscuits. We all lined up with our stomachs growling, ready for this feast.

“Hey pass me another biscuit” said Maggie. I learned over the counter and grabbed us two of my dad’s infamous biscuits. My dad was known as the biscuit man by all the other dads at camp, they would rave about how delicious they were and always beg him to make more. To this day no one knows that the biscuits were just heated up Pillsbury dough biscuits we bought from Walmart.  Once Regan, Maggie and I all got our food and made our way down to the camp fire.

We ran as fast as we could, weaving in and out of the tents then proceeded to steal the three red chairs and drag them down together to the fire. Everyone always wanted the red chairs because it had a little table attached to the side, a perfect place to put your plate and it also came with a handy dandy cup holder for our Yoo-hoos (chocolate milk). By this time of day everyone is exhausted and ready to finally settle down and relax. Before everyone heads off to bed both the kids and dads would gather around the camp fire to eat dinner, roast some marshmallows, and end the night with a camp fire story.

“Tell the Indian and Rattlesnake story” said Brooke. The Indian and Rattlesnake was one of the original stories that had been passed down through the families for generations. It tells the story of a young Indian boy trying to make his quest across the river. Before hoping into his kayak, he is approached by a rattlesnake who asks for a ride. The Indian boy know what rattlesnakes can do and knows they are bad, so he initially says no. The rattlesnake then begs, saying “I promise I won’t bite.” The Indian boy then gives in and offers the rattlesnake a ride. Once they are halfway in the lake, the snake leans over and bites the young boy. The Indian boy jumps “you promised you wouldn’t bite.’ The snake replied with “you knew what I was and what I was going to do, you’re a fool for trusting a rattlesnake.” Although it was a silly concept the story taught us to trust our instincts and trust your heart.

Little did I know but simple times like these made me the person I am today. From having a near death experience, overcoming my fears, or just hanging out with friends, the campsite had a major impact on my life. It taught me responsibility, showed me true friendship, created my great desire for adventure and taught me how to be tough. This 1000-acre piece of land served as my personal getaway, somewhere away from society and somewhere I was always able to be true to myself.

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